I had my ears ‘vacuumed’ — it’s so satisfying – The Times

OK, let’s get the important bit out the way. Yes, getting your ears professionally vacuumed — sorry, “microsuctioned” — really is as revoltingly satisfying as it sounds. One minute you’re living in a waxy fishbowl, cringing at the sound of your own chewing and yelling at your partner to just speak up for God’s sake, then — shlrrrrp, shlrrrrp, glug, vroom — the pressure releases and you’re jumping at the ping of a microwave.

And yes, you do get to see the spoils afterwards: in my case, a dark brown, almost black ball, sized somewhere between a raisin and a Malteser, offered up by the nurse at the private clinic where I’d just handed over £89 for the privilege.

The problem had been building for

Source: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/i-had-my-ears-vacuumed-its-as-satisfying-as-it-sounds-3s9j96wdb